ouchies

my hands are sore and red, they are tender, cracked and bleeding....
it literally makes working on xmas stuff a pain, but i must trudge forward and i'll do so while wearing this smile i found in a mud puddle...

at least i'm wearing one right?

i think i'll update some more later, for now i just wanted to say ow....
i hurt.....

E

SG 11-24-06

in about four days i go grey...
how do i feel about it?
part of me is excited, part of me wants to wait til february, and part of me doesn't care as long as i'm not paying for sg.....

in other news, on my last journal someone asked me for a sock buddha, well i made one, and i think i like it 


but no one else seemed to say "hey elena, i would really love a sock creature from you... "
come on guys!
i'm doing sock things, journals, maybe a few clocks, or blankets or pillowa and other hand/ home made or redecorated items this year for the holidays, if there's something you want please speak up, cause i won't know if you don't! no request is to bizarre! but i'll be honest if i think it's beyond me 

thanksgiving was good i spent it at and am still at my dad's it was nice, and humorous....
hopefully my husband ann will be moving into the apartment over the next week or so, that'll be nice...

what else? oh! i'm gonna go visit Neil the last week of the year down in cali, i'm super excited about that and keep wondering if it's time to go yet!

life's just been life, i dunno what to say except tell me what you want! what didn't you ever get as a kid that would have made life happier?

next sock mission? maybe a sock cathulu  i like being creative with these sorta things, so challenge and inspire me!


love to you all!
E$

ps go wish nixon a friggin happy birthday, not only is she sexy and beautiful she's fucking intelligent and amazing on so many different levels it'd prolly blow your mind!

SG11-16-06

what have i done with my last two days off?

i've made sock rabbits!
that's right people, sock rabbits!



this year it's a home made xmas! 
so get in your requests and if i think you deserve a present i might make you something... 

no they aren't all gonna be stuffed aminals, i'm also working on journals, maybe a few clocks or some other random artwork,who knows maybe even pajamas....
i don't wanna toot my own horn or anthing, but i'm pretty crafty 

in lyric land today i have to say thanks coldplay...

You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung or do
Something that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung or do
Something that's never been done, do
Something that's never been done

So you don't know where you're going and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all, let's talk
Let's talk, let's talk, let's talk 

oh and go wish boosy(kevin) a friggin happy birthday!
not only is he my favorite suicide boy, he's just plain awesome and wonderful and loves hippos, andhis bandis pretty friggin awesome as well...
so yeah go give him some mad love!

E...
still feeling a little short and stout...

SG 11-15-06

days like today i remember i am a broken teapot glued back together from being broken too many times...

is it love that holds me together or just sheer will?
maybe it's some other sticky substance and that's why i keep falling apart...
at least i'm still a teapot and not a mosaic stepping stone....
well somedays i do feel like that stepping stone too...

yeah, it's time for bed, maybe the next three days off will help get me back together again...
no where'd i put that cocoa?
and where are my swings when i really need them?
is it christmas yet?

E
more manic than you know.

SG 11-14-06

you know what's absolutely lovely?

being able to sit on a futon in your living room, drinking hotchocolate with rumplemintz, watching harold and maude and checking your internets all at once... i can EVEN fall asleep in my living room and actually be COMFORTABLE again.....
doing these things with a companion would be lovlier, but hey i'm content enough for now 

any how, i am doing all of these lovely things, after having watched "Short Bus" the new john cameron mitchell flick, it was exactly what i needed and at the perfect time to boot!

the last week was definitely a whirlwind of activity thanx in part to mister brown, i forgot how exhausting being social was!

i think my brain just decided it was time for bed! so i'm off to finish my hot chocolate, and fall asleep to harold and maude... good times, good times!

E$

SG 11-3-06

dear portland hoodie fairy......

you're amazing!

hearts!
Elena


i went and bought a bright ass shoot me red warm fleece hoodie today, even got my name on the back, it was hard to resist the old english!

this is me being happy in said hoodie



when i got home today from buying that lovely red hoodie there was a bag on my doorstep, the note only said enjoy.....

in the bag?

two more hoodies!
one grey with hippo written across the back, the other brown with monki on the back....

i guess someone else loves me and wants me to be warm this winter!
thanks stranger!
E

ps

what do you kids think, do either of these need a tail or ears???

pss Corregan arrives tomorrow!!!!

SG 11-2-06

now for a weird topic, some of you may already know this but

Syphilis is my favorite std !

do you have a favorite?

love elena

ps herpes is my second favorite 

SG 11-01-06

i hope you all had a wonderful halloween/ halloweekends!

i know my weekend was wonderful!

muchas smooches !
Elena

Sharpie Fumes Make You See Stars

i am often amazed at my own personal growth, at least i am when it is finally obvious... it feels like i marked it on a kids chart next to that chubby, mischievous monkey(i prolly even was on my tippy toes knowing me), and now i'm up to the giraffe who's silly and wearing a scarf...i really have learned a lot this last year on how to be happy or rather how to be genuinely happy. i've always been pretty good about keeping up that happy appearance, the cheerful martyr it would seem at times. I've spent a great deal of time teaching myself to be greedy, and comfortable with it, to put my needs and wants first and actually mean it with out hurting too many others in the process. i know i am still very much an altruistic person though, that i can never change about myself regardless of how much i try or get hurt. i think some days i must have the heart of a lizard, as it keeps regenerating those lost and broken off pieces, i guess it's just a cycle, like everything else in life. i have to be honest though, it still hurts when those pieces go missing or do break, i think with all of this happiness it probably hurts more. it's odd to think that after all of those years of telling other people not only to live life and acknowledge their real feelings but telling them how to as well, that i am finally learning how to feel my own. it's like i've been reading the same book for 20+ years and i could tell you everything about it, but it is only now that i really understand what has been coming out of my mouth so instinctually this whole time, damn i'm gonna miss being a Vulcan!
in other news, i've been diligently working on a mix involving "stars" and thanks to this hard work i got super inspired and motivated and now i have amazing shoes, i just need to find amazing laces for them!

SG 10-23-06

does it make me a bad person that i laugh at the unfortunate advertisement decisions of others?

UTI
Make your passion your life


in other news :

i'm only on call this week at work, however in the next week or two i should be going to (possibly) full time with a small raise, the paycheck inbetween will be pitiful but atleast i know i have rent taken care of right?

placebo and she wants revenge will be here wednesday, and i forgot to get tickets before they sold them all!
lame!

friday Neil will be back to visit again! i look forward too mucho cuddles and awkward but fantastic conversation!

i doubt i will do anything haloweeny this year, i am just not feeling it, how odd....

ummmm what else?

i think that Lysa and i are trying to get some girly girls together to go dancing at the Eroom sometime soon, and we both have agreed that our lovely pdx needs some sorta weekly thing again! it really makes the rainy season fly by when you have warm spirits to help you through!

i think that is all!
oh! and expect some going outness in early-mid november, as mister Corregan will be gracing us with his presence!


loves and cuddles!
E

Must be this tall to ride!

today was up and down and everywhere inbetween, It really is a Mad World ...

so yeah here's a lil peek into part of my day...
there's a boy i've been crushing on the last few months, just a fun i like you but i think i like liking you more than i actually have real big kid feelings for you sorta crush... anyhow i think he almost called my shitout tonight, well that's how i'm looking at it i guess... here's the story:

last night he went out and had some fun, when i asked him how his night was he said he had a good time and couldn't remember most of it, and knowing him that meant he really did have a good time, so i just razzed him about his bad habits and that was the end of me asking about his night i'd assumed.
later on i walk in mid conversation about what really happened, i ignore most of it and continue working, butgive him shit later about how i just get "ohh i had a good time" where a boy gets "oh man...... fill in theblanks", he just smiles his devlish smile and goes "well you know, you're a lady!", i laughed and told him it hurt he could tell his boys but not me! (we talk all sortsa mad shit to eachother by the way) he blamed it on "the breasts", i laughed and asked which pair as i was wearing a shirt with some other girl's lovliness proudly displayed, again just a smile, i told him fine maybe i should just take off the shirt, a few dimples and smirks later we went back to work....
later i finally get the story out of him ,it started out like this though...

HIM: well i woulda told you, but i didn't want to offend you!
ME: OFFEND me? i'm offended you didn't tell me! shit like i get offended!
HIM: yeah well, sometimes if people like you they don't wanna hear about the shit you do with other people...
ME: oh so you were worried about hurting my feelings! i see i see! now tell the dammned story!

he blabs and smiles alot and blushes and i was genuinely happy for him, that's just how i am though!
but i dunno if that was supposed to be the moment when i shoulda said somehting like ~what are you talking about liking you?!?!~ or ~oh so you think i like you huh?~ or just something other than what i did say to get on to the story. i don't care if the boy knows, hell it'd make life easier for my oddly shy ass, but it's kinda fun being a bumbling girl ;)

so yeah other shit happened, some VERY grrish, some cool, some confusing and some of it was just me being a bratty girl and enjoying the role... but it's definitely been a very up and down day!

love to you all
E

SG 10-21-06

so wrong....

SG 10-19-06

i have been really really good about not dying or cutting my hair the last few months... 
earlier this week i almost shaved my head instead though i did this (links to this blogger)

tonight i am staying outta the bathroom where the scissors and bleach are hiding... i found this pic


and it has me wanting to chop most of my hair off and go platinum...

i guess i just hafta remember the joys of pigtails in moments like these!

Looking Inside

Warning! Rambling ahead!

it seems as if i've been very thoughtful and reflective the past few weeks, since turning 25 really... i am some where in between happy and lonely, it's a hard balance to work out.... but some how i'm managing to , if only just barely...

i've been listening to a lot of music since coming home from The Dresden Dolls show the other night, ah what a good show it was, though i could barely stand the audience. it made me miss being at Dante's for their first portland concert, there i was with maybe 20 other people, some of them such very close friends... ahhh nostalgia.. how it hurts and feels so good, i guess that's just more of that balance thing eh?
ok, ok, back to the music... i've been trying to really absorb a lot of new (to me) stuff, just sorta cram it into my soul and hope it fills what ever holes there may be that need filling. some songs just make me ache on the inside, but they give me that feeling of crying with out having to actually do it myself... some of them make me want to sing just so i know i'm alive. one or two of them make me want to just move my body and dance until my knees give way....

all of this has me exhausted physically and besides giving me a fuzzy day dreamers head i'm doing quite well emotionally... if i could keep my head out of the clouds maybe i wouldn't keep losing things, so far since turning 25 i have lost a set of keys and a bus pass, when i'm not completely losing things i'm just misplacing them for odd amounts of time things that are important like my ID, or my glasses (they were missing for a day!) or the other set of keys...
just whatever i can lose it seems i am....
maybe if i wasn't so busy looking for myself then i'd be more observant of these things...
i guess the good thing about self reflection is that while looking inside of myself i have been drawing the outside half... i am very happy with what my wonderful hands have managed to come up with so far! If all else fails this self doodling has very certainly helped me to really cut back on my narcissistic tendency to peek and peer and sometimes just stare at myself in bus windows and the reflections of rainy day shop displays...
i guess i am always looking for my other half... but alas i feel as if i am a scratched and broken record doomed to repeat myself....
but i suppose it is for this feeling that i have the playgrounds and swings to keep from really worrying where that other half is... it's nice to know that the playground will always make life a little more manageable; like it's not quite the end of the world....
E