Names, Names, Names...

please lemme know your favorites!
and before you ask me what my favorites are please know that there were originally about 150 girl names alone, so me getting it down to, what? about 18 now? that's amazing.
there is a meaning and pronunciation guide at the bottom :)
if you have questions please lemme know i'm good at explaining by now :)

Abcde Ellameno Miranda

Alizabeth Ijena Leor Miranda
Alizabeth James Miranda

Gwendolyn James Miranda

Mable Ijena Leor Miranda

Nila Jane Miranda

Persephone Sedah Miranda


Abcde - (ab sid ee) The beginning (the pronunciation of the letters A,B, C, D and E)
Alizabeth - (ah liz ah beth) Variation of Elizabeth ~to incorporate both betty and al
Ellameno - (EL a MIN oh) A center (the pronunciation of the letters L,M, N and O)
Gwendolyn - (GWEN dah lin) White ring; white bow ~long for wendy
Ijena - (I juh NAY) The Name Janie rearranged ~Janie is my mother's name
James - (JAYMZ) Supplanter ~after J.M. Barrie as well as Captain Hook
Leor - (LAY or) The name Roel inverted ~Roel is my father's name
Mable - (MAY bull) Lovable ~after my great grandmother
Nila - (NYL ah) Blue-throated; blue-necked; cloud; passionate; river ~after my great grandmother
Nila Jane - (NYL ah JAYN) Blue-throated; blue-necked; cloud; passionate; river and God is gracious ~after my great grandmother
Persephone - (per SEF on ee) the Queen of the Underworld; consort of Hades; the Kore; young maiden (the daughter of Demeter and Zeus)
Sedah - (SED ah) Hades inverted

wow

for as wrong as things went i am really glad that last blog captured how david made me feel in the beginning, now here i am half a year later more or less and broken up with him but pregnant with his child...
at least i am able to carry that part of my happiness around.

turning blue

ok so i'm not turning blue, but i do feel like i should be holding my breath anyhow!
seems too good to be true....

vicarious

it's really amazing when you get overwhelmed by someone else's smile, especially when you know that the same can be said of them because your face is literally aching from the happiness they bring out in you.

i have this floating feeling of just pure joy, simple i don't care how long this lasts because dammnit i've at least experienced it joy...

i've just realized that i can smell him on me, that's odd, i'd not thought about the way he might smell, it makes me wonder if maybe it's collin and not him... i don't care though, i smell like a boy, and both of these boys take care of my heart in different ways.
today has just been odd, i wish i could capture it appropriately, but the only thing this blog'll capture right now is the happiness that is still coming outta me from that smile.

big sigh, lots of contentment and no impossible hopes for the future.
Elena

old wounds

today in the mail i got 100 piercing needles...
just before checking the mail my old scars from "trust" started to tingle, it's like it knew more self improving pain was on the way...

life has been unexpectedly good, i am work work working, as well as doing a lot of art. my head seems to have made it above water financially, and that feels amazing, sure i'm not debt free but i'm also not afraid of any of it.

i've been saving my lil pennies up and have managed to make it possible to visit new york and see a hopefully amazing van gogh exhibit while i'm there, may it seems will be a beautiful month for me. i have my mom's birthday to look forward to, i'll be working at reed for thesis week (something as a workaholic i always enjoy), off to new york then on to rhode island, back home to an empty house that will be ready to be turned into an arts and crafts haven for yours truly....

when i get home again i'll start saving my pennies for a passport and a trip to Scotland, and with summer time rapidly approaching the tip jar ought to fill that dream quickly!

i keep wondering when i'll wake up from this content feeling, and when i wake up will there be some one next to me? cause really that's all this life seems to be missing, but maybe i have finally figured out this independent happiness thing. who would have ever figured?

SG 1-29-07

friday my phone got run over by the bus... i was sad, i'm still sad... so it's very possible that i've lost your number, so if you can please send me a message with your # it'd be wonderful! luckily the run over phone still charges it's battery though, cause a few months ago i tried to replace that phone with one of the same model i'd gotten off ebay, which doesn't charge! things although ghetto work out i guess.

a little under a half hour ago i slipped on my stairs... i think i may be getting a nasty bruise on my hip from it, we'll see how that goes, if nothing else it sure does hurt, but at least nothings broken.
being an optimist sucks, but hey i look forward to the obvious positive things that have to start coming my way this week, right?

i'll try and come up with a decent summary of what i've been up to the last two months, or even since september  since it looks like i've been kinda quiet.

hope you all had good weekends!

ps

if you'll be in pdx on the 10th of february please let me know, cause i'm having a soiree!

E$